


Blurry

by depravedlover



Category: Badboyhalo, Minecraft - Fandom, Skeppy, Video Blogging RPF, a6d - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Help, Horror, Mental Illness, Multi, Skephalo, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Violence, blurry, mentalhealth, oneyearofbaguettes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:54:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21579499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/depravedlover/pseuds/depravedlover
Summary: Skeppy messes up and is filled with regret
Relationships: happy - Relationship, skep6d, skephalo - Relationship, skeppyxbadboyhaloxa6d
Comments: 21
Kudos: 426





	1. Chapter 1

_Sometimes it's better to not assume how something is_

Skeppy sighed, looking out his window, rain pouring down outside. It had been a week since his friends talked to him last, and he missed them. But he messed up, and this was his punishment.

He hadn't been able to sleep very well these last few days. He ate only dry cereal from the box and stale bread. He no longer bothered putting in his contacts, and his vision seemed to get worse and worse with each passing day. Mind-numbing headaches overcame him daily. The world, like his mind, was blurry.

A week ago, he got into a call with his two friends A6d and BadBoyHalo. They were planning their next upload on the trio channel, only Bad seemed to stay quiet the whole time. Not once did he answer any questions. He would occasionally mumble something that resembled an answer, but stayed mostly silent. It had been like this for hours. Meanwhile, A6d and Zak worked hard on brainstorming for the future of the channel. 

"Bad?" Asked A6d. "What do you think about this idea?" He waited a bit before Skeppy raised his voice: "BAD!" A sudden sharp intake of breath could be heard. 

"Y-yeah?" Bad murmured.

A6d adjusted his mic. "Did you just hear what we said? We said we want to invite Techno to our cursed world, and then change the plugin format on the server. What do you think?" A6d questioned, careful patience in his voice.

"Sounds good." Bad spoke barely above a whisper.

Skeppy spoke up. "Bad, is everything ok? You're being unusually quiet."

"I- yeah.. I mean.. what?" Bad said hurriedly. Skeppy raised an eyebrow.

"What's with you today? Are you tired or something?"

"No, no, I-" Bad tried to respond, but Skeppy cut him off.

"Because I'm really starting to think you don't care about any of this. You're not even trying to contribute anything." Skeppy raised his voice accusingly.

"Skeppy, I didn't- I-"

A6d interrupted this time. "Calm down Zak."

Skeppy shook his head. "If Bad's not even going to speak, he may as well not even be here." Skeppy fumed, not in the mood to deal with his friend any longer. 

"Zak, that's it. Leave the call right now. I need to talk to you alone."

"Just get Bad to leave the call. It's not worth keeping him around."

With that, the message that someone had disconnected played. Bad had left.

"He's finally gone. Now we can actually get some work done." Skeppy stated victoriously.

"Zak, I've had ENOUGH of you. You want to know why he was being quiet today?" A6d asked, infuriated.

"Not really. I'm tired of him."

"Zak, please just listen for once. He had a close friend kill himself. He tweeted about it yesterday."

Skeppy froze, stunned. "Woah, what?"

"He tried to tell you, Zak, but you think you're too important for him."

"I.. had no idea. I thought he just didn't care.. I-"

"Well Zak, it's too late now. Maybe you should leave us alone."

"I'm.. sorry. I'm so sorry.. please let me talk to him."

A message played indicating that a6d left the channel as well. Zak immediately tried calling Bad on his phone.

_What was I thinking? Why did I get so angry at him?_

Thankfully, Bad picked up. Skeppy sighed in relief.

"Bad, please listen. I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I thought you didn't care about us or something." Skeppy heard muffled sobs through the phone speaker. 

"It's ok." He said faintly, barely being able to say the words.

"If you just would have told me or something.." Zak exclaimed. "Then I wouldn't have thought you were being difficult."

"Difficult?" Choked Darryl. "I-I thought you knew.."

"Yea, difficult. I didn't know. You couldn't have told me, at any point, that this happened?" He sighed and groaned, irritated at the situation. "That some friend of yours decided to be a selfish prick and take you away from me?"

The line went silent, and then it started beeping.

_He hung up._

A week later and still no response. No sign of redemption. He had plenty of time to think about what he said. He lost track of the amount of times he replayed that night in his head. He knows every flaw from that conversation. He played a million "what-if" scenarios in his head. He had also been offline all week, since god forbid he sees anything related to the two of them on his feed. All he hoped is that the two of them were okay, and that they could forgive him, one day. 

_Forgiveness._

Zak would do anything for a little bit of forgiveness. Nothing he could have ever dreamed of would hurt more than the two people he loves the most leaving him. Every ticking second seemed like agony.

He looked up at the clock for the thousandth time this week. 7:14 pm. He really wanted to sleep tonight. He wanted, no, _needed_ to forget. Even if just for a little while. Who knew such a seemingly insignificant moment in time could cause this much emotional damage? 

For Zak, he had finally decided to take the pain into his own hands. To stop it for good.

For good measure, he tried calling a6d. When he didn't pick up, Zak left a message with a simple "I'm sorry. I was stupid and this is really tearing me up. Please call."

He foolishly held onto the hope that his friends would forgive him and understand for a few moments before working up the courage to take half a bottle of pills. Not too long after, he collapsed on the carpeted floor, eyes getting more blurry before the world lost color and faded to black.


	2. Forgiveness?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No easy fix
> 
> \-------

Zak awoke suddenly the next day, a searing headache tearing through his skull as he was shaken by his distraught roomate. 

"Oh my god, Zak. You're awake." George held the bottle of pills in front of his face. "Were you trying to kill yourself?!" 

Zak placed the back of his hand against his forehead. He could barely open his eyes. The light from the bare window blinded him. "Wh-what?" He blinked his eyes, trying to focus on the figure looming over him. 

"Hold on, the paramedics are on their way." George spoke softly. Zak murmured in protest.   
"Dude, I'm fine." It was then Zak's eyes were able to finally focus on his surroundings. The contents of his stomach had been emptied on the floor along with the half-digested pills.   
"What happened?"   
"Try to stay calm. Everything will be alright."

Zak was transported to the hospital with a painful IV shoved in his arm. His eyes refused to let him see very well around him. Nurses came and went to collect samples and perform tests. Zak's brain was foggy, and his head hurt like never before.

The doctor that came to see him offered little remorse. He sighed, softly crying. His roomates came to visit at his bedside.

George spoke up, placing his hand on his. 

"I told your friends about the situation. I'm really sorry I didn't notice you suffering sooner."   
Harvey chimed in. "You can always talk to us about anything. Seriously, Zak. We're here for you, too."

Zak was discharged a few hours later after he somehow convinced the hospital to let him go. Thankfully, the pills did no lasting damage to his body.   
George drove him home. Zak hated the sympathetic looks he gave him. 

On his arrival home, he noticed his room had been cleaned. The floors immaculate, the sheets of his bed washed and warm. He dove into his bed, which now smelled of lavender. George knocked on his bedroom door before entering and sat on the edge of the bed. 

"Zak.. let's talk."  
"I'm.. tired. Please not now."  
"I know you're tired. This won't take long."  
George scooted up beside him. 

"Bad and Vincent told me everything."  
"Oh. Do they forgive me?"  
"That's something you guys need to speak about between yourselves."  
Zak sighed. George placed a hand on his shoulder.   
"Don't ever think you're alone. Harvey and I are your friends too."   
Zak shook his head sadly. "I didn't want to bother you guys. I'm sorry."  
"I've dealt with these feelings before. You are free to bother me anytime, ok?"  
Zak gave George a sad smile. George reached beside him and gave him a lingering hug, rubbing his back in circles. 

"Oh yeah." George broke the hug. "Vincent wanted to talk to you about something urgently. Your phone is being charged on your desk."

"Thanks, George."  
"I'll come back later to check on you."

Once George left, Zak walked over to his phone which was laying on his desk. Dozens of text messages flooded his screen. He unlocked his phone to read them. 

"zak"

"zak we need to talk"

"answer your phone"

A6d's messages seemed urgent, so he decided to call him. Nervously he sat on his bed and scrolled through his contacts. He then hesitently pressed the call button. He could feel his body trembling. Would he be mad? Would he forgive him?

"Hello? Zak?" Vincent answered the phone.  
"Hey." Responded Zak.   
"Bad forgives you, Zak. Happy now?"  
"Wait, what?"  
"You tried to fucking kill yourself. So he forgives you. Are you fucking happy?"  
"What are you saying?"  
"He had one of his friends kill themselves, and then you go ahead and try it too? Are you so desperate for his attention?"  
"I-I'm sorry, I got angry before, I know I shouldn't have said those things to him while he was grieving. I'm really, really sorry. I love you guys. Please don't do this Vincent." Zak's whole body was shaking while he rocked back and forth.  
"Fuck you, Zak."


End file.
